Shattered Presence
by Luv2Game
Summary: /VP2/ Camped on the outskirts of Solde, Alicia is confronted with her new position and her new title. Everything happened so quickly... And Rufus isn't helping. He called her human. She isn't quite sure what that even means. :hinted Rufus/Alicia


_**A/n:**_ So I'm playing though _Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria_ for the second time and I get to beginning of chapter five and this hits me. So I just ran with it. **Spoilers**__are present. Takes place right after the fall of Dipan, all from Alicia's point of view. Poor gal, she needs more love. Her life kinda sucks. Threw in some hinted Rufus/Alicia, just because. You know it's canon. Hah!

First piece on this board, so feedback is love. And this is a one-shot.

_**Disclaimer: **_The _Valkyrie Profile _series isnot mine. Do I look smart enough to cook up the idea of using Norse mythology in a video game? ... No need to answer that...

**Chapter One: Shattered Presence**

_**x x x x**_

_"You're a human now."_

Those words played over in her mind, like a record stuck in a never-ending circle. They had been whispering in and out of her thoughts for two days, since Rufus had spoken them outside the gates of Dipan. So much had happened, all of it a whirlwind of adrenaline and constant motion. Alicia was still reeling from it all. Not even the peace of the quiet forest eased her mind. They were camped right outside of Solde, a small fire crackling before them, warding off the chill of the night and the dangers it held. The hush wasn't even slightly comforting; it just reminded Alicia how alone she and Rufus really were.

How alone she would be when they reached the Forest of Spirits.

Sitting cross-legged in the coarse dirt, Alica propped her elbows on her knees, resting her chin in her hands. Everything was so quiet. They had crossed this very land barely a week ago and the sound level had never been so low. Complete silence was impossible to achieve with a group of five souls. But that was then. When there had still been hope of defending her homeland. Now there were just two of them. Now there was no hope for Dipan. She had watched it fall with her own eyes.

And though she had witnessed the fall of her kingdom personally, Alicia still found it hard to swallow. Her beautiful country of grand stones buildings, cobble-stoned streets, lush greens and bright lights had been reduced to piles of rubble. Her father had been publicly executed, like some vagabond or common thief. Her mother had taken her own life. Her companions had deserted her. Silmeria had been torn away from her, taken from her body by a foreign spell.

All because Odin and his followers deemed it appropriate.

It was so weird. Everything was so odd. Her parents were gone. Her kingdom was gone. Silmeria was gone. It all seemed so distant, yet fresh and raw. In a way, her parents and kingdom had always been gone. Since her late childhood they had been like a foggy memory- there, yet distorted. She'd still clung to them, latched onto the memories and cherished them, but they were still just that- a memory. You couldn't touch or speak with a memory, you could only dwell on it.

Silmeria, however, had been there from day one. She had shared her body, been a part of her being. It had been scary at first. Terrifying. The other children couldn't hear a distinct voice in their minds or feel another soul inside of them. Alicia had felt like an out-cast. No one had ever heard of two people sharing a body- especially a Valkyrie, servant to the gods. Word spread of the strange young princess who spoke of past battles and claimed to know the Valkyrie Silmeria. There was really no wonder that her father sent her away to a small, secluded and aged castle. It was to protect her, they said, from gossip and harsh treatment. It had still seemed like the sharper edge of dueled sword, and though she had been alone, complete abandonment hadn't been an option.

Silmeria had been there. And though she hadn't been able reach out and touch the Valkyrie, Alicia had been able to feel her. Inside. A constant warmth. A presence. And she had been able to speak with her. They had been able to share things. Converse with each other. Internally. Being alone in the castle it had been easy to speak aloud, though it was more of a comfort than a necessity. They shared a connection, albeit a strange one. But Silmeria had always been the one constant in her troubled life.

Now she was gone, too. The one thing that had always been there was no more.

_"You're a human now."_

Funny. When she had first been sent away from her family and friends she had wanted nothing more to be a normal girl, a regular human. Now that she was, she had no idea what to do.

Hugging her knees to her chest, Alicia scooted closer to the fire, head sitting on her raised legs, blond hair falling over her shoulder. She closed her eyes, wishing away the words that brushed against her ears. She didn't want to hear them anymore; didn't want to think on everything that had transpired. Shutting her blue orbs didn't help with blotting out the thoughts. She couldn't just turn them off, no matter how she longed to. The darkness behind her lids didn't silence the voices even a hint.

She was alone. She had been cast aside as a child, and now she was completely on her own. Her traveling companion would leave her as soon as he reached his destination. She had never been totally by herself; soon she would be forced to stand only by her shadow.

_"You're a human now."_

Alicia decided she didn't like her new title. Not one bit.

Sighing, she cracked open her eyes, gaze focusing on the jumping flame in front of her. It was warm. Small, but big enough to keep their tiny circle heated and it shed enough light to cast a thin glow around them. Just enough to keep curious creatures at bay without drawing them in. When they had all been one large group monsters hadn't been such a concern. The thought of ambush had never been pleasant, but now it was pressing and alarming. It was hard enough to fight enemies with multiple bodies, now there were only two.

She briefly wondered how she would she do it when on her own. How was she supposed to do anything on her own. Midgard was in trouble. The gods used it as a playground. She couldn't even save her kingdom with a group of people- with a vessel of the gods residing within her. How in the world was she going to do anything on her own?

"Hey, you okay?"

Sights sliding past the fire, Alicia watched her comrade toss a stick of wood on the blaze, his green-eyed stare focused intently on her face. Rufus had been fairly quiet the past couple of days, which was a bit unusual, but not unexpected. He was probably just as confused on what to do as she was. In a way, he had been left hanging, too. He hadn't spoken any more on his goal to climb Yggdrasil and enter the land of the gods. Only muttered sentences about scenery here and there, asked if she was hungry, decided when they should rest and when they should move.

But at least he had a plan. Had hope. He was a half-elf. He could go places she couldn't.

This was the first time since Dipan he had asked her if she was all right. The first time he had wondered aloud how she felt about everything. Alicia didn't even know how to express how she felt. So she just shrugged and mumbled, "Yeah."

"Cold?"

She shook her head. She wasn't. The nights could get nippy, but not with a fire.

Rufus nodded. He swiped a hand over his head, fingers pulling at his red bandanna, pine-tinted mane lazily falling down his back. He continued to watch her, eyes squinted in question, mouth unmoving. His quiver of arrows rested beside him, digits slowly rolling over the quills.

Alicia wondered what he was thinking. He had always been hard to read and, even though his gaze was latched onto her, she couldn't decipher the code behind it. She wanted to know. Rufus was Odin's puppet, and in a way she had been Silmeria's. She didn't think of her in that manner, but Alicia felt the similarity linked her with the archer. Kind of a common bond that no one else understood.

Maybe he felt the same way. Or had. Not anymore. Not since Silmeria was gone. Now he probably envied her. Loathed her. Now she was just a human.

She turned away from him, gaze flicking back to the fire. Rufus watched her a moment longer, eyes still coded and silent. Slowly he pulled his quiver under his head, laying on his back, knees bent and head still facing towards her.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

_Oh, yes, being a 'human' is everything I had hoped it would be_.

"Yes."

"Well then, we should get some sleep. We can stop in Solde tomorrow and stock up, get something warm to eat. Then we can start moving towards the Forest of Spirits."

Alicia nodded. "All right. But I'm not tired, so you can go ahead and sleep. I'll keep watch."

Another lie. She was very tired. She had been exhausted since Dipan, body trudging on instinct alone. Her mind was tired, her limbs were tired- her entire body ached. But sleeping didn't help refuel her. It was the same as being awake. Which was ironic, because when she had first realized Silmeria was with her she had been afraid to close her eyes. Now the reverse held the same truth.

Rufus watched her a moment longer, then he shrugged, shifting his weight and eyes staring up at the sky. "Suit yourself."

Silence once again settled around them. Rufus lay still on the other side of the fire, arms under his head, red cloak draped across his body as a make-shift blanket, eyes closed and chest rising in a steady rhythm. Alicia just sat quietly, sword at her side, blade reflecting the dancing oranges and yellows, white moon mirrored in the silver. Tomorrow she would be one step closer to being alone. The thought filled her with dread, but no tears fell from her eyes. She had stopped crying when she realized tears wouldn't bring her father or mother back. Or her bruised childhood. Or her ruined country. Or Silmeria. What use were tears, when they did nothing but make you look weak.

She was tired of being weak. Being afraid. Feeling so small and useless. She was tired of thinking. Of reliving memories. Tired of thinking about the bleak future looming before her, of the solitude that awaited her. Tired of trying to map out a sure coarse. She was tired of being tired.

"_You're a human now."_

She was _so_ tired of hearing those words. Those stupid, confusing, taunting words. The words that had once been like a light in the darkness, that she had prayed to hear, held onto like a torch of hope. Those brass, false, disturbing words.

She was just so _tired._

"Hey."

Head raised from his pillow of leather, Rufus propped himself up with his elbows, eyes cutting through the fire and focusing on Alicia. The princess stared back, silently asking him what he wanted. His voice was authoritative when he spoke.

"You need to go to sleep."

Alicia said nothing. Sleep, he said. Like it was so simple. When he closed his eyes he probably didn't see images of a father killed right in front of him, or a casket of a mother who died by her own hand. Images of a kingdom reduced to pebbles because he was born with a Valkyrie inside of him. He couldn't feel a hollow emptiness that replaced a once gentle light. He didn't understand the fear of being alone because he had always been alone.

But she didn't say any of that. Nothing that had happened was his fault. It wouldn't do any good to speak her feelings, anyway.

Meeting his hard gaze, she did decided to reply with an honest response.

"I can't."

The archer blinked, the only sound the popping of the fire and low hum of the night insects. He sighed, hand once again filing through his hair.

"Come here."

"What?"

"Come here," he repeated, voice firm. Alicia sat still a moment longer, then shuffled around the flame and stopped in front of him, arms at her side and body deflated.

"Now sit down."

"I do-"

"Do it."

She lowered herself to the ground, plopping down in a slumped motion.

"Lay down."

She glanced at him, eyes slanted, posture growing rigid with annoyance.

"I'm capa-"

"Put your head right here." He placed a long finger on his quiver, motion sharp and pointed.

Alicia's thoughts of confusion and fear and anger were beginning to slow, breaking way to reluctant acceptance. She placed her head on the pack, hands clasped firmly on her chest, muscles curling tight. Her heart started to jump, striking up a dull thump against her ribcage.

Rufus lay back down, keeping a small distance between them as he lowered his head back to their shared pillow. He tugged his cape up over him, stretching the thin material over Alicia.

"Close your eyes."

Alicia's fingers gathered around the blanket. Her mind was still in a constant rotation, and now new elements were being tossed into the fray. Rufus was right beside her. His body radiated warmth, felt stable and solid. He was breath away. One tiny movement and she would be able to brush against the woven fabric of his shirt. She had never been this close to him for such an extended period of time. Hadn't been this close to someone since she had been able to crawl in bed with her parents. Had _never_ felt like this before, with her blood pulsing in her ears and heart hammering in her chest.

She wasn't quite sure what she was feeling.

"Close them," he ordered again, his tone not quite as demanding as his previous commands. Alicia sucked in a shaky breath.

"I'm scared."

Admitting the truth wasn't nearly as hard as she had thought it would be, but it still left her feeling raw and exposed. She didn't want to be scared anymore, but the solid fact remained clear no matter how she wanted to deny it. She was confused, and angry, and empty, and tired. And scared. Everything was piling up so quickly. She didn't know what to do. About anything.

Rufus was quiet for a moment; then, "I'm here."

"But you won't be."

He sighed once more, though the sound held no animosity or irritation. It wasn't out of pity. It was soft and low, airy. With a hint of regret.

"But I am now. So go to sleep."

Alicia gritted her teeth, knowing what lurked behind her eyes, what waited for her in sleep. Slowly, she closed them, seeing the soft glow of the fire burn red against her lids before night eroded it away. Memories jumped back and forth, thoughts swirled in a cloud, exactly what she expected and dreaded. But the body next to her, the warm presence beside her, seemed to lessen the reality and soften the blow. It was a little easier to push past it and close her eyes and give way to rest.

It didn't stop it, but it helped, and Alicia felt some of the tension leave her. Still, the thought that had been plaguing her refused to go completely mute.

_"You're a human now."_

A sigh swelled in her chest.

Whatever that meant.

_**x x x x**_

_**A/n:**_ Yeah, in case you couldn't tell, Rufus' little speech outside of Dipan spurred this thing into existence. Especially his line of being human. Alicia had never been a 'human'; how would it feel to hear that? Probably wouldn't be pleasant. And I think I'm one of the five people that actually like her, so... XD Not sure about the Rufus interaction. It just sort of... morphed into a weird Drill Sergent routine. Haha! But he's not very up-front about anything. He's such a man...

Thoughts are appreciated. I love hearing from viewers. There just aren't enough Rufus/Alicia out there. Maybe I'll get a little shippier next time, eh? :winkwink: Regardless, thanks for the read.

- _L2G_


End file.
